lost and found. . . .

Sifting through some old files recently,i found a paper stating a change of name. i traveled back in time ,physically it’s been  a decade, but what seems like a lifetime ago…..

“fly emirates and discover” the ad said . I booked our seats , mine and my 2 little kids. Ready to join my husband, who had moved abroad in a hope to make a life for all of us. By God’s grace things were looking up. He was doing well.

We arrived , started to adjust to our new life. The kids were admitted to school. Not having help of any kind it was difficult, but I am not one to complain. Specially as my husband was working long days and late, late nights. I was happy to do my bit, as a home maker . Yes I had my days of total collapse, washing tubs, cooking , and cleaning up after  2 little ones was a rather tedious job.  The most tedious was not really having a grown up to chat to. The  Filipino babysitter of the buiding became a solace of sorts and I’d sit around simply to chat.

Time went on, and I began to discover, reasons why we could afford a sports car but not a staff  to help, why time was so difficult to spare for my partner, why certain suspicions rose in my mind which could simply not be clarified, why I was made to believe there was something wrong with me and my “overactive imagination”.

I found proof over time, of the “affair” that was going on behind my back. The deliberate attempt to keep me in the dark of many a wrong doings. I found the pack of LIES, which was making me lose my mind.

Suddenly the  tag line “fly emirates and discover” had a whole new meaning to me.

I had suddenly lost a life I planned to build, with years of physical, emotional and financial, investment . I lost my home I tried to build, I lost a family I hoped to raise.

With a shattered world, I stood surprisingly stoic. In my biggest losses I found my biggest gains.

I found my ‘faith’ deep rooted and strong, I found how life takes away only to give more and much much more than I could  ever imagine.

In my losses I discovered friends who were shallow  and  found people with profound character. Cheats ready to take advantage and then people who I can lean on anytime in life. People who came into my life for reasons, seasons,(for all of whom I am grateful), and those who  will be here for a lifetime. I discovered friends who stand stronger than family and family who should best be chemo’ed out of my life.

my loss  gave me, a lost  home redeemed by a better  one,  a filtered family who’ve proven only love,forgiveness  and unity are  real, friends to hold onto for life, most of  all a  righteous partner, whose values stand tall and a who completes  my world . I learnt to fight, forgive,review, to value and  to cherish.

I lost it all and found myself. . . . .

To everyone out there, when you start to lose don’t despair, for the best is just about to roll in!

pic by mahine1cy and sh belgium

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s